It's absurd why
my cursor always wander to that same spot
To click on your name
But, I always hesitate
I still don't have the courage
and perhaps never will
to simply press the button down.
Important shooting pointers to self:
No listening to mp3, and wear ear plugs
Never compare scores with the person beside me
Never do more than 30 sighters
Go with my own pace
I'm competing with myself, and no one else.
Shooting had been pretty tough today, coach made us shoot with one leg! Struggled with balancing, surprisingly shot better balancing on my left leg. Mondays and Wednesdays are uber long days for me, gosh. After shooting, I still have organ lesson on Mon, and maths tuition on Wed. I'm growing wearier each day, I need to be more reliant on prayer and His word. However as each day passes, I still struggle with my QT. My sleep and TV are still more significant than God's time. I better start reorganising my priorities.
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry.
I'm on the verge of depression. Diaryx's server is offically and permanently down, my 5 whole years of entries and memories have just gone down the drain! :( Really, really sad. I'd wanted those entries to last much, much longer. Now, they are all gone! Zilch, nothing! Thus, setting up this blogspot blog. Trying to get used to it, but will miss diaryx alot. Perhaps this will be temporary until diaryx is back up and well, I don't know.
And today's shooting competition was total crap! I didn't meet my personal expectations, moreover coach's of average 8.5. The NTU girl beside me was so freaking pro, all her shots were 9s or 10s, none out of the black target! That stressed the hell out of me. So many things went wrong at the competition. Thank goodness it's not the national competition but just an NTU shoot. And as if to add on to my depression, the pear that dad just cut for me is so freaking soggy and soft, urgh. Oh yeah, met Wenhui at the competition! It was nice seeing her, an ex-classmate. :)
So many things have happened during this week and the previous, Diaryx was down, so I couldn't post. Went to ACJC funfair the last Saturday with Wendy and Weilin, it was pretty happening. Visited Lydia's stall, met so many PAE friends, miss them all! Like Joel, Jacqueline, Amaria.. so many others! Though I didn't see all of them, so was quite disappointed. Even saw 'plag hair' and his friend at the fair! LMAO. But what I missed most about AC would be the chapels and assemblies, how they would set aside a period a week just devoted to God. :) Missed PL too, missed the culture. Now I understand the meaning of 'sheltering walls' of PL in the school song.
Then went to Olga's birthday chalet bash, organised by Jesslyn. Ate so much BBQ food, and stank of it when we went home. Talking about chalets, planning to have one with the Hot Beans before they start their poly lives. But haven't decided on which chalet to book yet, heh.
Anyway the previous week we had many universities coming down to talk about the different schools, such as Mass Comm, Arts and Social Sciences and Science. SMU kind of appealed to me, but it's pretty competitive since it's a small school. All these talks are really motivating me to study harder, to get good ALevel grades. But will I keep up?
Sigh, diaryx, how could you do this to us, or me?! Anyway, do comment to leave your link if you still read because I've lost all my links. :(